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That night, when I was afraid you mightn't live--I thought I was going to be punished for my wickedness--and I loved you so then. Anne, Anne, I never had anything to love since my mother died, except Dick's old dog--and it's so dreadful to have nothing to love--life is so EMPTY--and there's NOTHING worse than emptiness-- and I might have loved you so much--and that horrible thing had spoiled it--".